The Martin Serious Show
The Martin Serious Show is a radio show in Grand Theft Auto IV about the multi-millionaire radio host Martin Serious which also stars Smithy the Stunt Boy, Lisa Lynn and Mark the Manager.
Description
[edit | edit source]The Martin Serious Show includes crazy jokes and stunts including Martin throwing used urinal cakes dipped in glue at Cindy the Intern. Also, on the show is "Goomba Rocco" and "Fartbox Frankie." Cindy the Intern is said to have replaced an intern from Zimbabwe, while Smithy is the successor to Rick the Stunt Boy. They also had a member of the cast known as "Topless Tina" who overdosed on the show.
The program has undergone massive changes over time, as it once aired on LCFR and subsequently moved to WKTT Radio. The show once aired for six and a half hours and has recently shortened and fans believe that the show fails to deliver entertainment now that they are "tip-toeing behind the line" rather than crossing it. Martin Serious' segments have featured celebrities such as Tony McTony and Cloe Parker, but the latter's appearance disappointed fans, as not one double-ender joke or miscarriage reference was made by Martin despite the fact he trashed Parker for years.
Martin Serious is notorious for hosting outrageous contests on his show, although most of them are killed by Mark the Manager (an example being the "3rd Trimester Triathlon," in which pregnant women in their third trimester must ride tricycles in circles, run 22 miles, and break-dance without entering premature labor).
The show is suggested to use the massive amounts of violence, racism, and sexism in it for shock value purposes, as Martin Serious and Lisa Lynn often assert that they will win awards due to how depraved the show is.
Website
[edit | edit source]A promotional website that was suited up to resemble the unofficial message board was launched in 2008 and taken down in late 2020.
Characters
[edit | edit source]Martin Serious (aka "Mr. S")
[edit | edit source]Martin Serious is show's infamous host. He has done crazy stunts such as licking a 70-year-old woman's vagina, throwing used urine cakes dipped in glue at Cindy the Intern, and giving "retards" ecstasy. He also performed a live read for the Italian American restaurant Al Dente's using an Italian-American accent, which was believed to be a mafia impersonation. Other events witnessed by Martin include his mother being ravaged by a tramp and an abortion clinic broadcast. He is voiced by Will Forte.
Smithy the Sidekick
[edit | edit source]Smithy the Sidekick, or simply Smithy, is a psychotic stuntman on The Martin Serious Show. His stunts include:
- ELECTRIC SLIP AND SLIDE
- FINGER BLAST A (REAL) COUGAR
- MALE MASTECTOMY MONDAY MASSACRE
- GLORY HOLE GORILLAS
- SELF DENTISTRY CHALLENGE
- HOLD YOUR WEE FOR A WEEKEND
- 500 POUND FAT GIRL GANG BANG
After the "Hold Your Wee for a Weekend" stunt, Smithy used catheter treatment and threw his bags from the top of a building, hitting elderly people getting off a nursing home bus. He is shown to be very sycophantic towards Martin and has said himself that he has self-esteem issues. He is said to be "overrated" by many fans, who think that he ruins Martin's jokes and takes over the show with his outrageous stunts. He misses a lot of episodes. He is voiced by David D. McDonald.
Lisa Lynn
[edit | edit source]Lisa Lynn is a transgender African-American woman with a high pitched laugh on The Martin Serious Show. She owns a Fruit computer. She also fawns over Martin and often remarks how "liberating" and "true" the events on the show are despite being in context disturbing and depraved. She also remarks often about how Martin is a "genius" and "humble" despite this being blatantly untrue. She is voiced by Carla Renata.
Mark the Manager
[edit | edit source]Mark the Manager is an unpopular manager who kills most of the ideas Martin Serious has for The Martin Serious Show, such as the competition where fans were to kidnap homeless people, take them to the desert, and would win a gift certificate for Al Dente's if they made it back. Although Martin says he is a manager, it is implied he is actually just an actor used by the show to make it appear edgy. From 1992 to 1999, he was the host of a hacky morning zoo radio show for Liberty Rock Radio. He is voiced by Michael Elkind.
Video
[edit | edit source]Transcript
[edit | edit source]| Transcript |
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Announcer:
The Martin Serious Show...
Announcer:
The Martin Serious Show...
Woman over the phone:
This show is trash! I don't want MY children hearing YOUR filth!
Woman over the phone:
This show is trash! I don't want MY children hearing YOUR filth!
Uh, shut up, you SHREW! Get naked for me and drown your children in the bathtub RIGHT NOW ON THE PHONE!
Uh, shut up, you SHREW! Get naked for me and drown your children in the bathtub RIGHT NOW ON THE PHONE!
Announcer:
The most valuable man in broadcasting. The genius who takes no prisoners is back for another episode of the shock jock show that has changed everything, including moral standards and what is considered funny. It's America's favorite everyman, multi-millionaire Martin Serious.
Announcer:
The most valuable man in broadcasting. The genius who takes no prisoners is back for another episode of the shock jock show that has changed everything, including moral standards and what is considered funny. It's America's favorite everyman, multi-millionaire Martin Serious.
Martin Serious:
I'm being ripped off by all my peers. The HACKS in this industry!
Martin Serious:
I'm being ripped off by all my peers. The HACKS in this industry!
Announcer:
Also starring Smithy the Sidekick.
Announcer:
Also starring Smithy the Sidekick.
I'm smoking a cigar with my butt!
I'm smoking a cigar with my butt!
(Explosion, followed by Smithy screaming)
(Explosion, followed by Smithy screaming)
Announcer:
And Mark, the anal and entirely realistic station manager.
Announcer:
And Mark, the anal and entirely realistic station manager.
This show...is out of control! We'll get FINED again!
This show...is out of control! We'll get FINED again!
Announcer:
And Lisa, who isn't just a token example of diversity so we avoid a lawsuit.
Announcer:
And Lisa, who isn't just a token example of diversity so we avoid a lawsuit.
You're so funny, Martin! Burnin' a rainbow flag! Ha, I should be offended, but you're brilliant. I hate myself all the way to the bank!
You're so funny, Martin! Burnin' a rainbow flag! Ha, I should be offended, but you're brilliant. I hate myself all the way to the bank!
Announcer:
This is the multi-award-winning, game-changing, life-altering, original...Martin Serious Show!
Announcer:
This is the multi-award-winning, game-changing, life-altering, original...Martin Serious Show!
(BOOM!)
(BOOM!)
Martin Serious:
That's right, that's right, Martin Serious Show, back with another incredible round of telling everybody the way things are...yes, the way things are.
Martin Serious:
That's right, that's right, Martin Serious Show, back with another incredible round of telling everybody the way things are...yes, the way things are.
Lisa Lynn:
That's so true!
Lisa Lynn:
That's so true!
Martin Serious:
Lisa, God is in the details. IN THE DETAILS! He also appears to be in your breasts.
Martin Serious:
Lisa, God is in the details. IN THE DETAILS! He also appears to be in your breasts.
(BoIoIoIng!)
(BoIoIoIng!)
Martin Serious:
YOUR BREASTS! Lisa, today, they seem kinda perky! Fresh! Someone have some work done, Lisa, huuuh? Little bit of uplift with your bonus, did we? Tell Uncle Martin! Tell Uncle Martin! Let me see those chocolate grenades.
Martin Serious:
YOUR BREASTS! Lisa, today, they seem kinda perky! Fresh! Someone have some work done, Lisa, huuuh? Little bit of uplift with your bonus, did we? Tell Uncle Martin! Tell Uncle Martin! Let me see those chocolate grenades.
(Martin moans while a clown horn honks)
(Martin moans while a clown horn honks)
Martin Serious:
Delicious...
Martin Serious:
Delicious...
Lisa Lynn:
Oh, Martin! You're ridiculous! You're so. Funny! I can't BELIEVE people call you a condescending homophobic racist!
Lisa Lynn:
Oh, Martin! You're ridiculous! You're so. Funny! I can't BELIEVE people call you a condescending homophobic racist!
Martin Serious:
Thanks, Lisa, I KNOW! Huh? How could I be RACIST...or HOMOPHOBIC, when I employ a black transvestite? That's why they pay me the big bucks. Hasn't changed me, hasn't changed me.
Martin Serious:
Thanks, Lisa, I KNOW! Huh? How could I be RACIST...or HOMOPHOBIC, when I employ a black transvestite? That's why they pay me the big bucks. Hasn't changed me, hasn't changed me.
Lisa Lynn:
Mm-mm.
Lisa Lynn:
Mm-mm.
Martin Serious:
Money, I mean. Hasn't changed me one bit.
Martin Serious:
Money, I mean. Hasn't changed me one bit.
Smithy the Sidekick:
Yeah, you always were a jackass if I may say so, Mr. S!
Smithy the Sidekick:
Yeah, you always were a jackass if I may say so, Mr. S!
Martin Serious:
Aha, thank you, Stuntboy Smithy, thank you.
Martin Serious:
Aha, thank you, Stuntboy Smithy, thank you.
Lisa Lynn:
Oh, Lord! What are you doing, Smithy?
Lisa Lynn:
Oh, Lord! What are you doing, Smithy?
Smithy the Sidekick:
It's my first stunt of the day! I'm gonna duct-tape M-80s to my throat!
Smithy the Sidekick:
It's my first stunt of the day! I'm gonna duct-tape M-80s to my throat!
Martin Serious:
Yeah, shove a lit one up your ass! I want a broadcasting award!
Martin Serious:
Yeah, shove a lit one up your ass! I want a broadcasting award!
Smithy the Sidekick:
Anything for you, Mr. S!
Smithy the Sidekick:
Anything for you, Mr. S!
Lisa Lyn:
What if he gets hurt?
Lisa Lyn:
What if he gets hurt?
Martin Serious:
I'm a pioneering broadcaster. A pioneer! I break ground, others follow, others copy. There's not a care who gets hurt in the name of radio, I take no prisoners in my search for the truth! Light those fireworks around your neck, Smithy!
Martin Serious:
I'm a pioneering broadcaster. A pioneer! I break ground, others follow, others copy. There's not a care who gets hurt in the name of radio, I take no prisoners in my search for the truth! Light those fireworks around your neck, Smithy!
(Smithy lights the fireworks. They go off and he starts screaming. Lisa and Martin start laughing at him)
(Smithy lights the fireworks. They go off and he starts screaming. Lisa and Martin start laughing at him)
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Gallery
[edit | edit source]Trivia
[edit | edit source]- Martin Serious and his show are suggested to be a parody of The Howard Stern Show.
- On Integrity 2.0, radio host Lazlow refers to Martin Serious as a "hack sellout" when someone mentions him as his favourite radio presenter.
- Some billboards for The Martin Serious Show can be seen around Liberty City on the PSP version of Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars.
- In Grand Theft Auto V, Martin Serious is one of the honored celebrities on the Vinewood Boulevard sidewalk.
- The "Hold Your Wee for a Weekend" stunt is a reference to the controversial Hold Your Wee For a Wii contest held in 2007 by California radio station KDND, in which a 28-year-old participant died from water intoxication.